Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Baghdad Bob to Replace Dan Rather at CBS News?

CBS news anchor Dan Rather gets ready to step down in March with no word yet of a replacement. The quest now is to find someone who will fill the shoes of this outgoing icon who is so highly respected in America. Who can possibly do a job with as much integrity, attention to detail and thorough research to every story as this great man?

That question leads to this thought. If the CBS news needs an anchor person to take the reigns of the most highly respected nightly news service in America. A man in the know. Someone with his ear to the ground, with a pulse for the nation. Someone who can continue the dedication and respect of the CBS Nightly News!! Here is the perfect candidate...

Yes, Baghdad Bob!. He is certainly no tartoor, nor will he ever wag the dog.

Can you see it now? It's late at night. People are watching their favorite police drama, when all of a sudden...

"We interrupt 'NYPD: Blue' six minutes before the end to bring you this exclusive special report"

Camera pans over to the Anchor desk where Muhammad Saeed al-Sahaf is seated. As he clears his throat he says:

"Disneyland has turned 50 years old today! That's 5-ohhh years," [while holding up his fingers] "We have the documents and I will show you. IN ONE HOUR!"

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Socialist Politician is "Greatest Canadian", says CBC

For those Canadians that always knew the CBC is the biggest promoter of socialist garbage in Canada, you now have the ultimate proof. After much adieu, the CBC has declared Tommy Douglas the 'Greatest Canadian' of all time.

Tommy who?

If you never heard of Tommy Douglas, don't feel bad. You are not alone. "Tommy Douglas is getting the recognition he deserves," declared TV host George Stroumboulopoulos, who served as the advocate for Douglas during the series. "When we started this campaign in the summer, folks had never even heard of Tommy Douglas".

Yet, all those hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars were wisely spent by our state run media to educate the masses. No longer will Canadians go about their daily lives in ignorance. No longer will the uneducated think that a young man running halfway across the nation with one leg to raise money for cancer is our best role model. The one whom Canadians should worship, according to the CBC, is a socialist politician! And, not just any socialist politician, but the "Father of Socialized Medicine".

After the votes were tallied in a back room, the tally results...Well that's not important....Tommy won! He is the greatest. Ahh, if only democracy really worked like that o' CBC.

For those of you who did not know who Tommy was, now you do. So, when Federal and Provincial politicians are fighting each other for health care funds, remember Tommy. When you are in the emergency room of your local hospital waiting hours on end for a doctor, remember Tommy. When you find yourself being treated in the hallway because there are not enough hospital beds, remember Tommy. As you go about your daily life in one of the most heavily taxed nations on earth, $510 Billion in debt, you need only thank one man....

Our greatest Canadian